Hello, I am Anastasia Megaloudis. I am a 22 year old graduate student, I am a sister, I am a daughter, a cousin, a friend and no one would know it, but I live in fear of cancer every day. I lost my mother to cancer at 10 years old, my grandfather at 19, my uncle at 9, and my grandmother at 5 all to cancer as well. When I was younger I felt like people were dropping dead left and right, but I didn't realize until now that cancer kills you slowly and its an extremely powerful disease. Cancer can suck the life out of people, the treatment, the psychological effects of slowly dying, it affects those who are experiencing it, but it will stick with caretakers such as myself forever.
My mother died at 42 years old, that statement is so unsettling to me I couldn't even describe it. If I compare my life to hers, I would only have 20 more years left to live. Although this just makes me realize and acknowledge how precious life is and to never live with regrets, this way of life has its dark side to it as well. I fear both death and cancer in all aspects, every day... I live with this fear, as I'm sure everyone on here does as well, but I own it. Being afraid of cancer may not be healthy, and it is something I should try to work on, but it benefits me in my own way. Being afraid of getting sick pushes me to live and laugh everyday, to dance, to appreciate, to be healthy in what I eat, how I exercise, and forces me to be conscious of my lifestyle.
For the past 12 years of my life I have constantly faced obstacles without my mother. It's not only grieving the loss of the woman who brought me into this world that was difficult, its facing the world without her that's been the hardest part. I'm the only girl in my family, no one has ever pushed me to get good grades, work for the things I want, to teach me how to shave my legs, cook dinner, or what to do with the changing of my body when I was younger; I was alone in all of this, and despite it being difficult, I did it; because thats what you do.... when you have no other choice you adapt and keep pushing forward. When I take a look at my journey from when I lost my mother to now, I believe that she would be more than proud of me. I got myself into every college I applied to, I graduated with two degrees, I got into two national honors societies and graduated Cum Laude; and I did it without any help from anyone. I got my strength from my momma, she fought colon, liver, and lung cancer all stage 4 for 3 years; I feel her every day, I feel her always, I feel her energy and it will continue to live through me forever.
I feel divinely protected, I have so many angels watching over me that I shouldn't fear death or cancer, but my fear has built character. My experiences have pushed me to become a strong and independent woman, I never waste time and I never live my life regretting my decisions, good or bad its life.
Life is bittersweet and we all have our own path we walk on, everyone has different levels to them and not always do we align but we are human. Remember to acknowledge that we are human, we have emotions, we don't have control over what life throws at us; but life is 1% what happens to you and 99% how you react to it. Feel out your emotions, and if you don't know how, take it all day by day... 10 years down the road you'll look back confused on how you figured it out, and all it took was perseverance.