As I sit here writing this entry, listing to August Alsina and Nikki Minaj trying to make the best out of what is officially the first Christmas that does not really feel like Christmas at all. I guess it would be good to count my blessings. I am alive. I feel pretty good. I woke up in my own bed. There is currently no bad news to think about. While I am anxious about the future and what is to come, that is no different than any other day. Perhaps I will make this a diffrent day. Perhaps I will try and make this a better day. I will do my best to continue to be myself and realize who I am and what I truly feel. I know what God thinks of me. I know that this has just been a very difficult year and time for me. I was telling my best friend this morning that I truly believe that the voice in my head that wants me to be happy all the time is just not possible the older I get and the more I experience. My intention is to continue to take thinngs one day at a time, one moment at a time. Experience the feelings as they come, and continue to be myself....as I fugure out who that is. Merry Christmas to me.