Today I started working on setting little goals, things to look forward to. I feel like today got started and ended very well. I woke up humming "This is the day that the Lord has made, I will rejoyce and be glad in it!" Went to the doctor and my labs were perfect. Oh, this morning I started giving myself the Neuprogen shots to increase my white blood cell count for the transplant. I had been dreading giving myself a shot ever since yesterday morning; turns out it hasn't been that bad. I did my biking exercise for 20 minutes this morning, and I managed to walk a mile this evening. First time I have really worked out twice in one day but I guess I am working out for different reasons right now. I felt like I got a good bit of rest all day today. I did notice that I have a hard time resting though. Like, I feel as if I should always be doing something to keep my mind occupied. I think my fear is that I will get those "crazy" feelings, like I am outside of this world not really existing and trying to find the meaning of life and every little detail of life. I hate it when I arrive in that space. It feels like I am powerless to my negative thoughts and I cannot control what is going on in my head. I think it generally happens when I am bored or not content with my current situation. Today, the minute I felt like I was going to start getting the "crazies" I ran right upstairs to my husband and tried to sit with him for a while until it passed. It's funny because the crazies always seem to be cured by some kind of alcohol or recreational drug of the green persuasion, but I do not have either of those at my disposal right now. Friends and company help with the crazies too, so I guess it is a matter of keeping my mind occupied. I find myself enjoying word search puzzles more ofter now than ever; another mind deterrent. I think this is another topic for my counselor, and something that I will keep trying to take one mile at a time.....