Completing The Kokoda Trail Gave Me Back My Sense of Adventure Before Cancer

A world traveller.

An adventurous soul.

A scuba diver.

A hiker.

A backpacker.

A bungee jumper.

That was me, pre-cancer Jess, an independent, feisty woman with a bucket list filled with exciting adventures. BUT 3 separate diagnoses, 2 major surgeries, and 1 course of immunotherapy later I was left as a dependent woman who had to learn to walk again and had so many restrictions on her life, it was unbelievable. I felt unsafe being alone, terrified that I would have another seizure, that I would fall over, that I would be stuck and no one would help me. I felt trapped, and while I was grateful to be here, to be alive, I was worried that this is what the rest of my life would look like. That I would be confined to my tiny little box of a comfort zone because any step outside would risk my precious life.

Slowly but surely that comfort zone grew and within 6 months I embarked on my first “big” adventure, a solo trip to Sydney. Something that a year prior would have been simple now required so much planning: knowing where the hospitals were, where to stay, who to contact in case of an emergency. I put more effort into planning this trip than I had my entire year living abroad! At the end I felt accomplished but also felt a deep dread, wondering “Is this it? Is this my new level of adventure?”

My body seemed to get stronger and my life kept moving in an exciting direction, but still I felt that my true sense of adventure was missing. It was a part of me, a part of my identity, and without it I still didn’t feel whole. So I set myself a goal, a massive one at that, The Kokoda track! After clearing it with my oncologist, endocrinologist and every other doctor that I needed a go ahead from, the path to Kokoda became an open road. I felt like I was finally living the life I once loved, with an overseas adventure in sight that included lots of physical training and mini goals to meet along the way. I felt invigorated, I felt like my life was back on track, and I was excited and actually planning for a future.

That doesn’t mean there weren’t road blocks and unexpected challenges. Managing my steroids was tough; knowing that I had to decide how much to increase them and how to alter the times I took them as I trained was scary. I learned that my depth perception was challenged on the tracks depending on shadows and gradient. I had a plan for every potential thing that could go wrong, from gastro to low cortisol, to seizures, and everything in between. I had to understand that getting medevaced out (helicopter) was a high possibility and although I had travel insurance, if the reason I needed a helicopter out was cancer related, I would be liable.

The risks scared me but we did everything to prepare. I had a plan for the 1000’s of potential outcomes and risks and soldiered on, making sure I was in the best condition to do it. I also had lots of extra protein bars, snacks, hydralite, walking poles and a medical kit with everything I could ever need or want. I trained with all of these things, making sure my training replicated what I would be doing on the track.

The day I left, there was no fear. I was prepared and excited for the hike, but more than that I was excited to reclaim my life! With one trip and 10 months of training I welcomed back so much of myself. This hike was about me, for me to take back the thing I felt I had lost and show cancer that just 2 years after a stage 4 diagnosis I could be all that, and so much more. I am stronger than ever before.

Lots of love,

Jess AKA

A world traveller.

An adventurous soul.

A scuba diver.

A hiker.

A backpacker.

A bungee jumper.