Many people refer to cancer as a "battle", implying that it is something that can be won or lost. But according to Uzma, cancer can never win. Read more.
I read an obituary of a friend's sister who wrote the most commonly used sentence to describe death caused by cancer, "she finally lost her battle to cancer."
I have a problem with that sentence. A big problem. It implies that cancer has won. If that were true, her cancer, as an entity, would be alive, thriving and sustaining, but it is not.
So if this were to be appraised as a win or lose situation, at the most it is a draw—a situation where both parties played each other well, matched each other equally and there was no result. A "game" where both parties ran out of play time, both spent and exhausted. For someone to win, the victor has to be able to live to enjoy the success, to celebrate the battle, to count the loot.
No one loses to cancer.
Those who survive the assault by cancer can perhaps be called winners but those that die at hands of cancer, by no means, are defeated.
Right from the time of diagnosis to the last breath that a person takes, in their morphine induced stupor, the cancer survivor is the winner. Their will to survive trumps the growth of rogue cells at every angle, every corner. Their spirit is mightier than rapidly multiplying DNA. The body fights back with an army of little white blood cells that are jumping out of the bone marrow in throngs. The body's immune system creates barriers and hurdles to stop the march of belligerent cells that are the traitors from within.
How can anyone say that a survivor was defeated when they have looked at death in the eye and said, "I am not afraid of you"? How can anyone say that someone lost when they endured the hardships of the treatments of a dreadful disease? When they submitted and conquered the cut, burn and poison regimen? How can anyone say that a someone did not emerge victorious when they gave this fight every ounce of their being?
Death is inevitable, we all know that.
We all will die someday. For some it will be quick and sudden, for others prolonged and painful. How can a person's life, that is full of achievement and accomplishments, of love and warmth, of thoughts and affection, of compassion and giving, ever be considered a loss, just because it ended? Just because the survivor stopped breathing, it's a lost battle? No, it's not. The cancer did not live either. It is gone as well, as is its source of replenishment and growth.
So if I die due to the challenges of my disease, please let the obituary read, "She emerged victorious in her battle with cancer and as of today is no longer alive and neither is her cancer." Thank You!
What do you think about referring to cancer as a "battle"?
- Is it normal to be going through survivors guilt?
- Has anyone had to deal with anxiety and/or depression as a result of chemotherapy or steroids?
- While I have overcome the AML, I am having such a hard time with body image and I may be depressed, Is anyone else out there having something similar?
Uzma is a stage 3 breast cancer survivor, physician, blogger and a mom. She blogs about her experience with cancer at uzmamd.com. Connect with her on IHC under the username uzy27.