8 Things You Need to Know About Life After Diagnosis

As soon as you are diagnosed with cancer, life gets divided into two "eras": before cancer (aka BC) and life after diagnosis (aka AD). The three words "you have cancer" are what delineate BC from AD, and once we cross over, there is no going back. Life before cancer begins to feel like a distant memory consumed by our over-analyzing and asking questions like "How did I not notice those symptoms?" and "When did it start growing?" The reality is that the "hows" and the "whens" do not matter. We are here now, living a life after diagnosis. At the beginning, it feels like a cold, dark, scary and entirely unknown place for most of us. But it doesn't have to stay that way.

The IHC community has shown us that talking about life after diagnosis is the best way to in fact handle life AD. There is power in numbers, and there is power in talking about the issues that only other fighters and survivors can truly understand (ie: Chemo brain. YES. IT IS REAL).

There are still so many more things to talk about, so we wanted to get the conversation going. That's why we started our #LifeAfterDiagnosis campaign. Our hope is that anyone who has been in this situation will share what it's really like, in an effort to shine a light on the dark path so we can see where we are going with a bit more clarity - at least a few steps ahead. Sure, parts of it may suck and the realities can be hard to swallow, but just knowing that someone else is in this with us, can make a huge difference. The content we've received so far has been awesome - from the photos (see below), to the personal blog posts ( It has been 2990 days since I first heard ‘you have cancer’ ), and especially the tweetchat that we held earlier this week, where we gave some airtime to a range of issues that affect us on an individual and communal basis. The conversation was awesome. It was a beautiful reminder of how organic our community is, how important our voices are collectively, and the power of true empathy.

We know not everyone is on twitter or able to participate, so we compiled some of the most impactful moments into this blog post, with hopes that we can continue all of these conversations, and figure out how to handle life after diagnosis, together.

1. It's normal to jump to the worst conclusion first.

Honestly, my first thought was, "I'm going to die." #LifeAfterDiagnosis

— Cancer Girl (@cancergirl730)

I thought that my 5 y/o twins would grow up without a mother.

— Heidi Marie (@heidi80)

I wonder if there is anyone who doesn't respond with the fear of dying first. It almost seems like a right of passage

— Lori Marx-Rubiner (@regrounding)

2. Your relationships may change. Some people may run to you, while others run away.

Some of the closest people, ran away from me.. And strangers ran to me.. It's weird how cancer shows true colors.

— J. Acosta (@OmgItsJazeA)

I lost a few friends after my diagnosis & gained new friends. Random people helped me too.

— Mackenzie Currans (@Kamenzie)

Most were there but they didn't know what to do. Others just stayed away.

— Tamika Felder (@tamikafelder)

3. Cancer is an emotional rollercoaster. Anxiety and PTSD may hop on for the ride....

There are so many unknowns & your mind is always trying to process what in fact you can't process. <

— Tamika Felder (@tamikafelder)

I get #anxiety every time I am not feeling well assuming the worst.

— Mackenzie Currans (@Kamenzie)

More intense + worse at times (anger, upset, grief, confusion, overwhelm) then equally quickly into good - a cycle.

— CoachTherapySupport (@coachingemily)

4....and self confidence issues may pop up, too.

For me, the weight gain from the meds has been the biggest thing causing depression. I miss my skinny self.

— Mackenzie Currans (@Kamenzie)

I felt unpretty. The first time I touched my scar I was in the shower and started crying...

— Alejandra María (@alejandrat67)

Ugh weight gain from prednisone! 30 lbs gained first time and 20 lbs second time

— It's Just Me (@Summrluver)

5. Not to mention survivor's guilt.

Hard to feel happy to be alive when others are dying

— Wisdo (@medicopemapping)

My heart aches for my friends @SeporahRaizer I miss her every day more and more https://t.co/xp4jkkR27u

— SDBC (@annmarieg4)

6. And the time we spend worrying about other people.

I'm not scared of death, but I'm petrified of the effects my death would have on my friends and my children.

— The Joy of Bex (@debecca)

I couldn't bring myself to tell everyone what I was going thru.At the time,only a handful of people knew

— Alejandra María (@alejandrat67)

7. But...it is possible to move beyond cancer and truly live, in spite of it.

I learned quickly that I was only hurting myself if I stayed in a negative place, so those fears were mostly tamed.

— Lori Marx-Rubiner (@regrounding)

I tried to ground myself in my faith and the will that I had to live. I wanted to live.

— Tamika Felder (@tamikafelder)

I surrounded myself w/ positivity & forced myself to laugh & smile!

— Kristin (@5foot_somethin)

For me, anxiety ebbs and flows like any emotion. I acknowledge it's here to alert me to something & then let it go away

— Lori Marx-Rubiner (@regrounding)

I can live more in line with values, setting up own business, running post-bowel cancer ops, finding calm.

— CoachTherapySupport (@coachingemily)

D1 athlete and American and World record holder all with a prosthetic now. Cancer's a bitch but I'm a bigger bitch!!

— Lacey Jai Henderson (@lacesyourfriend)

8. Because there really is LIFE after diagnosis.

There is a #LifeAfterDiagnosis and it can be whatever you want. For me it's about soaring and living life in an epic way.

— Tamika Felder (@tamikafelder)

This was just the beginning of the conversation and a snapshot of the important points that were made. Let's keep it going. Click here to view the full transcript of the #LifeAfterDiagnosis tweetchat. and please continue to send in your #LifeAfterDiagnosis photos via social media or directly to emily@ihadcancer.com.

What does your life after diagnosis look like?