Im wondering aloud if anyone needs help coping with terminal loved ones. I am not a profesional but I have cared for people I loved and may have some insight. If/as please connect.
I am thankful for many things and as I miss the peopel I Love who are no longer here because of Cancer- I am so thankful that I was able to share everthing I have whiel they were here.
One of the things that made Tonia fight so hard during her struggle with Cancer was the will to live and the courage to fight for her two children. Tonia went through a battery of treatments as the cancer moved from her Colin- to her Liver and ultimatatly mestazing throughout her whole body. She went through over 30 Chemo treatements which is an extremly high number.
For most of her battle she remained diligent and determined however in the end her body just could not keep up with her will.
I remember far too many things to detail in a single post but I want to menation to fellow supportors what I have learned and beleave was helpful in some small way during Tonia's fight.
1. Reassurence:- I made it clear that I woudl do what I could to help her Husband take care of her children. For tonia it was teh love of her children and thier welfare that willed her to fight for over 3 years.
2. Contact- I refused to obey the posted hospital rules and whenever I was in her presence I hugged, touched and interacted with her on a physical level. I did so before Cancer so It was important that I remained teh same.
3. Humor. I tried to make her laugh, at the root of all our experince we share human traits that can make all the differnce. Laughter is an incredible pain reliver and emotional vent.
4. Honesty- I was honest about what she meant to me while she was alive and didnt wait until i missed teh oppotunity.
5. Time- You wont get it back. Take advantge of teh time you have with people delaing with cancer. All teh otehr stuff can wait
WTF Dino. This is how I will always remember my dear friend Tonia and the snarky way she would deliver that line to her boyfriend then Husband Dino.
Toni is a dear friend who lost her life the Cancer. I first meet Tonia at a Halloween party back in 1994 and loved her from the fist second. She was an extraordinarily loving person who walked into a room and owned it. Her beauty and voluptuousness were only matched by her humor and confidence- man she was something.
Toni married on of my best friends Dino while we were in our 20's and our families became very very close. We actually raised our kids together spending far too many memories to detail in this post.
I am writing about Tonia because I believe my involvement with supporting her during her Cancer fight may help others.
