4 Steps For Self-Confidence: Advice From A Cancer Coach

Do you love #throwbackthursday as much as I do? You may never want to see some of those old photos again, but you admire a select few of them and think about how you were so good-looking! Slender, radiant skin, and with a look of —dare I say it— happiness. Yet somehow you probably didn’t feel that way at the time. You couldn’t see your own hotness and all around splendor because you were distracted by what you didn't have.

How many of us spent the majority of our twenties (and even sometimes now, no matter how old you are ) in comparison at all times? Wanting to be more fit or have bigger boobs, straighter teeth, curlier hair, straighter hair, longer hair, shorter hair, and the list goes on. I am the guiltiest of the guilty in the comparison category. Whatever I didn’t have, I wanted — you name it. All this mentality of lack did was sap any ounce of joy out of my life.

When I was diagnosed with Stage IV Hodgkin's Lymphoma at age 29, all of that changed. Now, as a newly minted 30 year old, I make the choice every day to use the toughest adversity I’ve experienced in my life so far —facing advanced, widespread cancer— as motivational fuel for taking charge and designing the life that I want. Below, I offer the steps for you to start living with confidence and reclaiming your power to be able to face any challenge life throws at you. Here's how to Tap Into Your Inner Power.

Learn From Yesterday

Dig deep. You'll find that ultimately, it wasn't about the hair, skin, what you were wearing, or the amount of money you had (or didn't have) that made you feel like you weren’t enough. It was about how you treated yourself day in and day out. Think about the words you used to talk to yourself. Notice if you're still using the same tone with yourself today. Even after all you've been through and accomplished from then till now, are you still talking to yourself the same way? Be gentle with yourself.

Compliment Yourself

You know your strengths. Create affirmations that allow you to feel good about yourself. This means that they can't be cheesy or feel fake to you. Here's one example - if you are reading this right now, you are able to physically see. Take the time to recognize that your eyes, although so simple, are so complex, and a miracle. Say, "I have beautiful eyes and I love that about myself!" Did you close that big deal a week ago? Tell yourself how awesome you are and do the next action point.

The point of an affirmation is to create a vibe that allows you to believe what you are telling yourself. When you realize your gifts and the power that is in you, you realize your own divinity.

Keep Track of Your Successes

Chances are, you've come a LONG way from that #throwbackthursday photo you saw posted last week. Think back to your major successes and write them down. Whenever you feel that "not enough" bug creeping back in, relish in your successes. This will help you get through the down moments.

Start a Daily Gratitude Practice

This is ancient wisdom that our ancestors believed in. In my coaching sessions with young women, one of the first actions we put into place is to think of three people/places/things/events for which you are grateful each day. Then, think about how you've had a part in each of these. Knowing how you've created abundance of good things in your life will raise your vibration level, allowing even more good things to continue to come your way.

Even when you practice these four actions daily, you will have moments where you will still think "Am I enough?" Remember that whenever you do any one of these action points, you are creating new neural pathways in your brain. Creating these new neural pathways creates healthier habits in the day-to-day, which in turn, creates a healthier life.

You can design your life. Today, you're even better looking than you were then. You are smarter, funnier, wiser, more compassionate, less serious and WAY hotter.

Despite the mistakes of my 20's and going through chemo for cancer, "Still I rise," (as Mother Maya says). When I looked in the mirror this morning, I saw beauty because the only approval I need comes from my soul.

Do you have any other tips for overcoming self-doubt? Share in the comments below or sign up here.